“Ironic” Intent? I applied to be on The Bachelor.

Here’s my application essay:

I’ll never lie.  I like things that are true. Mad Men, the show, is true. Milton’s Paradise Lost, is true. Jan 2012 was the first time I’d ever watched the Bachelor. Because, you know, I’m the kind of girl who can quote Paradise Lost. It was… “not my kind of show.” No, I’m not a snob – quite the opposite. But friends would tell you I’m the last girl on earth to go on the show. I’m too “nice.” I’m too young. I’m not a devoted Bachelor fan. And still when I watch it, I get a rush when I see girls – who want Ben SO badly – say the wrong thing. They’re not true. To themselves – to Ben.

So why do I want to be on the show? 15 minutes of fame? Aspiring actress? Feminazi plotting revenge for womankind? No! The fact is: I’ve been in three serious relationships and have made me more sure, than ever, that love is a phenomenon and why not indulge the impossible – going on The Bachelor – to find it? I know, I’m young.  But I’m a romantic – a lover of life –  someone who feels things – and the three boyfriends I’ve had have had I swear I’ve been in love with. But I’ve come out of each learning more about myself and becoming more self-assured – despite the heartbreak. I don’t know who I want, but I know what I want. I want a man who’s true. The Bachelor is the truest platform there is: hidden cameras, mediating girlfights, making girls feel comfortable to open them up by being true. I want that man, and I’m sure enough of myself to know I can also be true to him and to myself.

Oh… and I’m pretty! See?? …

So that’s it. A year ago today I was dumped by a man-ballerina sociopath. Though I think that description makes him sound more exotic than he was. But the year since? Oh man. It’s been good. Here’s to you Ben, Mazel. I’m ready to love again!!!

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