i’ll never eat cake (cakecakecakecakecekakerj) ever again.

i want to cry, why is rihanna enticing chris brown to eat her birthday cake, sweeter than a rice cake, and to write his name on it? what would he write? HERE’S 24 BIRTHDAY SPANKINGS, RI-TARD! and…daddy make a wish and put this cake in my face?! arg! county fair pie tosses are HERETOFORE RUINED! not to mention singing “if you’re sexy and you know it” to my infantile babysitting clientele. 

also, what the hell did i write in my last post? did i really make a mary poppins currency joke? i think my halting attempts to start the corrections has me hot on franzen’s italics trail. if he can do it, why can’t i?! i can be his mary karr if i want to. 

mmm rice cake time. 

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