variations on apples: birth of venus, gala, wildly successful cultivars, steve jobs, eve, desperate housewives, fiona… apple, apple bottom jeans, little house on the prairie (little laura handing that mean teacher pa’s favorite fruit), snow white, this blog……… conservatopia…….. 


now i have to use all of those elements in a story. 

Laura Ingles Wilder lived in a cabin on an empty plain except for a large sycamore that helped her find home when she climbed her favorite hill, with her friend, steve jobs. Steve recently arrived on the Pony Express from a gala he attended in Los Angeles for the World Wildlife Fund. He was raising money to cure the world of Australian accents and (separately) women clad in apple bottom jeans. The EVE…ning of the gala, Steve made a speech and said that he owed his success entirely to the wildly successful cultivars and that he had no control over the icon that kept appearing on all of his products. Frustrated with his lack of top down supply chain control, he took one bite. Conservatives from THIS BLOG were irate, and sent him to Elba to hang with Napoleon, Snow White (and her stripper dwarfs), and the annoying twins from Desperate Housewives. Little Laura could not find her way home from the hill because Steve chopped down the sycamore by accident on his way to find her on the hill. iTree will be released in 1897.  


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