Morton del Ray


ahoy there saltees. here’s to lana del ray for putting the morton’s salt girl in vogue. “here’s not” to lana del ray making me feel depressed and swollen every time i watch her videos. lena dunham’s recent tweet: “Lana Del Rey’s National Anthem video is one of the most complicated beautiful things I have ever seen” made me pregnant with ick. but, per usual, that ickiness melts to fascination and idolatry, and so lena made me reassess my relationship with llama del r. if i<lena<lana is true, then maybe “national anthem” is worth talking about. worth stressing over. worth me stockpiling my freezer with ice baggies to prevent transmutable lip swelling.

so in “national anthem” she’s marilyn, and rapper “a$ap rocky” is jfk, in a thickly lomographized vision of the new american dream. okay… is it good?

pros: the music, a$ap is hot, lana’s hair is impossible, and the lomography is pretty if mercilessly hip, and the first scene.

cons: lomography is pretty but mercilessly hip (is hip artistic? is llama del ray the andy warhol of our time?!!), the rest the video after the first scene.

my general beef wit lawnz is this. of all of the self-proclaimed martyr divas out there, her claim seems more audacious than anyone else’s. britney’s self-prophecy in “lucky” seemed like a joke, until it happened. lady gaga seized britney’s downfall and made it her identity: the million looks of monstrous pop. then lana comes along and out-metas everyone. darling she’s your national anthem! she’s patron princess of self, pop, and the american dream! if you thought american beauty and betty draper emblemized the rotting american dream, you are wrong. lana knows a lot about american history. her read on the changing landscape of an obama america? mercurial.

snarks aside, her songs are good. listening makes me feel like i’m in a sea foam box, resting cryptically on a celery stick day bed and feeling shiny. listening to earth rumbling, nectarous bass from some other planet. make me me feel, less absurdly, like i’m in a sequel of the dead poets society, with all girls. all lanas. in fact, doesn’t she wear a nymphy wreath in “born to die” like neil perry before he kills himself in his father’s office? anyways.

what do you think?


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